Al Gore's Hummer Club

Environmentally Responsible Hummer Offroading

Hey Gang,

It's me, Al Gore, nobel prize winner and earth-saver. A lot of you have wondered what I like to do when I’m not saving the earth. Well I’ll tell you what I like to do: stump jumpin' the hell out of one of my hummers.

But wait a minute you are probably thinking, aren’t you that guy who is against SUVs? Don’t you go around lecturing people about how they should save energy?

Yes, but I’m allowed to drive hummers for the same reason I own a mansion and a private jet: carbon offsetting.
Through carbon offsetting I can lecture people but at the same time do whatever I want. It’s like having your cake and eating it too, while telling other people to not eat cake, that is of course unless they pay someone else to not eat cake so the net effect is that no extra cakes were eaten. See how it works?

For example last year my son wanted a coal-fired pig roast. I told him normally I would be against it because coal burning releases carbon dioxide, but since we’re wealthy all we have to do is pay someone else to not have a coal-fired pig roast. So after paying a local non-profit to skip their annual pig roast, ours became carbon-neutral. Isn't carbon offsetting wonderful?

- Al Gore

Check out my latest Hummer pictures!


Can you believe I got a ticket for parking here? I assumed that they didn’t realize it was actually me, so I sent them a letter explaining that I was in fact Al Gore and that yes I am single-handedly saving the earth. I also included a coupon for $200 in carbon offsetting credits even though the fine was only for $100. I’m sure I’ll soon get a letter from them thanking me for being so generous.	This is my red hummer all dressed up for Christmas….er…I mean multi-holiday celebratory seasonal time. Anyways, this is usually the only time I take it out, since I love to tow a jetski with a fake santa on the back. I haven’t actually ever used the jetski before, but I really like how it looks behind the hummer. Sure, the towing takes the mileage down to about 8-9 mpg, but I carbon offset this baby by giving my relatives carbon credits instead of instead of wasteful gifts from carbon spewing factories.

This is my buddy towing me across the Mexican desert. I bet him $1000 dollars that he would run out of gas before towing me 50 miles. He actually won, and not only did I pay him the money but I also had to pay a couple Mexicans a few hundred bucks to not eat beans for a week to carbon-offset the whole thing.	This is my friend Bob refilling his hummer. When we go on long trips there often aren’t gas stations around, so we bring a trailer filled with gas cans like the one behind him. I asked him what he did to carbon-offset our trips and he told me that he no longer takes part in his county’s annual tire burn. Supposedly he was one of the main contributors of the tires and by not providing the tires he has earned himself a lifetime of guilt-free hummer driving. What an amazing person.

This is my earth-loving hummer express. Sure, the hummer limo is probably the most tasteless vehicle on the earth, but my kids really wanted me to get one. The zebra stripes on the side remind people that I care about the earth. To carbon-offset this mammoth I refrained from using my private jet for an entire month. This was quite a sacrifice that I had to make, but we all need to make sacrifices to save the earth.	I did not have inappropriate relations with this woman. Hehe just kidding around, I nail my wife all the time and she totally loves it. This just some chick who wanted to pose for me at last year’s hummer expo. She asked me if I knew that I could win a free hummer, and I said that is the reason why Bill told me to go into politics. Oh come on Bill, you know I’m just messing with you. Text me later k?

Some of you have pointed out that I buy carbon credits from my own company. Here is my response.

See my response to that nasty British judge who claimed my movie had distortions and inaccuracies.

See my latest way of scaring people into action. It works really great, especially on children.

Keep checking back as I will be posting more links, including a debate with a climate skeptic. Al Gore away!